Fertilize This.

On my morning commute this morning with coffee in hand, I was ready to wake up with my favorite morning radio talk show. I was thoroughly disappointed with the sudden shake and toss out of bed it gave me. Over the radio waves, a lame, loud woman complained about her life and how “the grass is always greener on the other side” adding a super-charged jolt to my a.m. java.

One after another, anonymous callers dialed into the station confessing their personal insecurities, envy of their friends and disappointment in their spouses, children and lives. I know I was alone in my car, but in that moment – I felt embarrassed for those callers. And seriously sad. After toggling through the radio stations, I decided it was too early for honky tonk and whiskey or talk of “shakin’ me all night long” and so, I shut it off.

As I continued on, I thought about the phrase the woman stated so confidently:  The grass is always greener on the other side. And as I often do, I analyzed what the heck that phrase actually means and who thought of it. I mean, why is the grass greener on the other side? Am I not watering properly? Using the right fertilizer? Having my neighbor’s dog secretly mess all over my lawn?

Who are these magical, mystery gardeners on the other side? I want to meet them. I feel bad for my neighbors. When they look at our yard, they get totally jipped out of that aha moment.

It made me think of everything in my life and what it would be like if it was completely opposite and “better” or, at least what I’m told would be better. So…that means I’d have to change the following:

  1. Be Single – No thank you. I have married the male version of myself. Why would I be single again when I can get in double the amount of trouble I did pre-him? I would, however, like to give a shout out to the top crazies I’ve dated including: the man who showed up with a thousand flowers one birthday after we’d been broken up. His mother then proceeded to call me and tell me that I’d ruined her son’s life and he was going to pass up college for me. Awesome. Just what I always wanted. I wonder if he’s living in your basement now. Also, a quick “what’s up” to the guy I dated who would show up “randomly” at every place I was at and conjure up different ways to explain how it was fate. I now hate the movie when Harry Met Sally. I’ll never forgive you for taking that from me.
  2. Be Rich – Why would I give up “ballin’ on a budget” as my husband and I say? The less you have, the less you have to worry about. I mean, bills are bills and need paid. I’m not saying that I don’t worry about money. I do sometimes, but I don’t want material things to change the way I look at the world. Things that are free I love are: the beach, fresh air, running, my animals, family, friends and the smell of saltwater. It’s not how much you have – it’s what you have and how much you can give back.  Also, coupon clipping can be fun. I don’t care how much money I ever make. The day I stop getting excited when I find a deal on food or clothes is the day I will no longer have a change jar that I excited to cash in for “real money” or scream when the grocery has buy one, get one! I don’t ever want to know that person.
  3.  Be Like Someone Else – This is something I think everyone thinks about. Maybe not being an identical twin to someone else, but stealing a few attributes – hair, body type, personality, spouse, friends. The thing is, you have to know you’re awesome because you’re you. What makes anyone unique is simply that they are. They are different in their own viewpoints, behaviors, looks, strengths and weaknesses. It wasn’t until I was in my mid-twenties that I started concentrating on what version of me I wanted to become. When you can just accept who you are and try to improve the things that aren’t great – a serious sense of peace overtakes your life and you start to see things that you’ve been missing along the way.

If you’re thinking of what you wish you could change in your life, you’re downplaying the things you would never want to. You’re forgetting the things that you are blessed to have. You’re forgetting that the stick-figure girl with the perfect body who only eats the salad bar for lunch each day will never know the simple pleasure found in a single bit of pie (well deserved, of course). And the perfect Stepford wife/mother would kill to have the free hours you get every night. On the other hand, it’s important to always be pushing yourself. If you are unable to look at your life and realize some things within your control can use improving – then you are complacent. There’s nothing wrong with being complacent if you’re 100 percent happy with status quo. If you aren’t, please dear God – do not call my local radio station to tell the nation your indiscretions. Be organic and different. Make your lawn as green as you can with what you have.

Tips for watering found here.


9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Redneckprincess
    Apr 28, 2011 @ 03:46:24

    Hehehehe…awesome post and so true, just funny when you read mine for tomorrow, I will say now though, that I am truly thankful for all the blessings I have, and there are many 🙂 If nothing changed for me, it would so be all good 🙂


  2. Invisible Mikey
    Apr 28, 2011 @ 15:35:51

    I’m totally with you on most of this, and you’ve presented it in an entertaining way. I disagree on #3, but it wasn’t until I hit my mid-fifties that I began to accept there were actually lots of others just like me. As odd and unique as I preferred to think of myself, I had to become comfortable with the idea that I was valuable, but not special. One benefit since doing that is that I am now more at home anywhere. I assume I’m already there, and that others who are where I arrive are actually my own family.


    • Perks Being Me
      Apr 28, 2011 @ 16:08:29

      I like your thinking – that’s a different way of looking at things. I don’t think that feeling like you are unique means a person is self-involved. I think it’s important in a cold world to be comfortable with what you have to offer and be confident. You ain’t gunna get that from many other people except the ones that love you unconditionally 🙂 Thanks for posting – as always.


  3. Sara
    Apr 28, 2011 @ 19:01:01

    Im very amazed how you could write this post so tactfully and pleasant. I agree with your thought process like its my own, so that is why when I hear such nonsence coming out of peoples mouths in the vein of ‘the grass is always greener’…. well I get a bit annoyed and roll my eyes. Ive still got a lot to learn in the compassion department.

    If I see someone I admire like in #3 I don’t envy, I learn, so that I too can have whatever attribute I admired in someone else. Life is after all, what we make it.


  4. belle
    Apr 29, 2011 @ 08:22:25

    Really like this post, and the way it has reminded me to be thankful with what I’ve got (even when I come across the days I feel everything is crappy!)
    Thanks for that! 🙂


  5. Team Oyeniyi
    Apr 30, 2011 @ 12:01:50

    I’m watering! And fertilising! Great post! I generally to not listen to talk-back radio for this exact reason.


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