No Babies Here, Sorry.

Me: “I have something to tell you.”
Friend: “You’re pregnant.”
Me: “No, I was going to tell you I’m finally starting a blog.”

Apparently, my ticking timebomb, aka baby maker hasn’t only been on my newlywed mind.

I want to preface this post with the fact that I LOVE kids. In fact, I was a nannie for a family of 3 children for nearly 6 years. I loved them and played with them like my own. My friends, the loves of my life, nearly all have kids. I love being an Auntie to them all and couldn’t be happier for them.

But, am I ready? Will I ever be ready? I take an hour to order a burrito, reinforcing all the things I really don’t want. Then again, I’ve been told you’re never ready. Never stable enough financially or 100% emotionally ready.

As enticing as voluntarily accepting more insecurities into my life seems, should I feel somewhere deep down I will want, at some point, children? Or will my 30th come and I’ll feel the same way I do now — impartial.

I recently read an article that talked about a woman’s biological clock. It said, “Until the age of 25 lifestyle factors such as smoking or alcohol have little effect on a woman’s fertility.”

Great, Mother Nature. So what you’re saying is that while I was young, stupid and completely immature that would have been the “safest” time to bring a life into this world? Sorry, but I was acting like an idiot until about three years ago. A kid, pushing a stroller, brushing off last night’s hangover isn’t the perfect mother I imagine now. But, if I wait until I’m eating meals from a stove and not a drive-thru, my fertility rate drops immensely and I will have to give up wine? Being a woman really blows sometimes. We literally carry all of the responsibility.

Right now, my husband and I love being selfish. Love being able to be adventurous. Love being free and alone. I am not closing the possibility of a child, but I am not ready now. So, sorry. You can quit giving me those disappointed looks when I tell you now. And asking “Ever? Never?” isn’t helping.

When it happens, if it happens, it will be right.

xoxo

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7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Team Oyeniyi
    Mar 13, 2011 @ 07:59:12

    “Then again, I’ve been told you’re never ready. Never stable enough financially or 100% emotionally ready.”

    True! But surprisingly, when it happens and catches you totally unawares – guess what? You’ll miraculously be ready!

    Reply

  2. Jen
    Mar 13, 2011 @ 17:48:19

    When you leave this world, the only “wordly possesions” you will leave behind are your children…and hopefully they will make it a little better, one kid at a time.

    Reply

  3. Team Oyeniyi
    Mar 13, 2011 @ 21:47:12

    You are welcome! Thanks for dropping by. I’ve had a rough night and am heaing off to work. I will read more of your work tonight.

    Reply

  4. Tatum
    Mar 17, 2011 @ 15:45:15

    First off, love the title of your blog, second, welcome to blogland!!! O.k. I enjoyed this post and I totally feel you. For so long Chris and I were like we’re good, we don’t necessarily have to have kids, we love our life, but we LOVE kids and spend so much time with the ones in our family. I too wondered will something hit me, will I suddenly know that I am “ready” for kids? I asked several people how they knew, some felt it and some didn’t, some just slipped up and got pregnant.

    The day that I first felt that I think I might actually want a baby I actually blogged about it. It was really a feeling! And a bit bizarre lol. You can read it here: http://manymomentsofme.blogspot.com/search/label/Ducklings

    I say enjoy your life, take your time and tell people to get out of your business!

    Miss you girl!

    Reply

  5. Ursula
    Mar 18, 2011 @ 20:24:10

    The only sanity I find in this world today is in the eyes of my grandchildren!
    Nothing is as wonderful as holding that little hand and knowing that your love continues on forever………..

    Reply

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